Taking Out the Trash: Anger
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another...
~Ephesians 4:31-32
The very first time I recall having a huge burst of anger was in church.
Embarassing, right? Sorry, mom and dad.
I've been angry since then, but there's always a pattern leading up to and following an outburst. Something bothers me for a long time, and the very second it's built up too much, I lash out. And that's it. All is forgiven. All is well--for me, anyway. Even once I'd gotten it out of my system, I would leave behind a trail of destruction. Words can't be taken back, y'all...vulgar or otherwise.
Anger in and of itself is not wrong. It's just a human emotion, just as human as happiness, excitement or sadness. If there's something that makes your blood boil so much that you need to scream, that's actually a good thing. It means you care. It means you feel. And with all that's had me heated over the past several months, I can easily say that I care a lot. However, I've handled my anger less than gracefully in recent months...so guess what?
I'm going to keep getting angry, and shift how I react to what and who provokes the emotion. It sounds super simple and pretty obvious, but in the heat of the moment, I never remember. Maybe you tend to forget as well. Lashing out to the point of burning bridges, ruining relationships and alienating yourself from those who care about you is never a wise choice.
Whenever my students are so angry that they cannot make a rational decision, I tell them to do one of two things: get a drink of water and wash their face, or count to ten. Essentially, my goal is to teach them that you should collect yourself, and come back to the problem once you're in the position to do so. Perhaps, it's time for me to make like Kehlani and take my own advice.
Anger? Done. Self-absorption? Done. Bitterness? Done. Last but not least of the"Taking Out the Trash" instalments: self-doubt.
Love and light,
Reina M
