Taking Out the Trash: Self-Absorption
This idea of selfishness as a virtue, as opposed to generosity: That, to me, is unnatural.
~Jessica Lange
Raise your hand if you like job interviews. Did you? Probably not. Most of us hate them. Personally, my least favourite interview question is, "what are some things you do well?" A close second is, "tell me about yourself." I'm never sure what they're going for: hobbies versus career-related goals, education or personality--and as for the former question, it feels as though I'm bragging. Even if the right to brag has been earned, I don't prefer it.
And yet, ironically, I've noticed that as much as I hate talking about myself, I love talking about myself. When having a conversation, I follow up most statements with the phrase "I..." No matter what the other person says, I feel the need to respond with something having to do with myself. Until a couple of days ago, my top six Instagram posts are of me and only me--no group shots, no nature, no memes, no nothing. Just me. I ask for help from friends, but forget to ask how they're doing. Over, and over, I catch myself doing this, and each time I do, it bothers me even more.
It bothers me because self-absorption and selfishness bother me, and I want no part of either. What purpose do they serve? What does one truly accomplish by focusing solely on themselves? For a time, yes--you may be successful with just you and yourself. Temporarily, you may be happy. However, without others, you can only get so far. Not only does it serve no purpose, but it isn't healthy. Those who are self-absorbed tend to get caught up in every little woe and worry of their own rather than opening their eyes and letting the joy in from those around them. I speak from experience. It's really easy to be in my own head and comb through every micro-issue I may have. But instead? I'd rather help out a friend who needs some boxes moved down the street, or meet up with some friends after work for a trivia night, or see how I can make someone else's struggle lighter. Taking the focus off yourself gives you a purpose and a sense of fulfilment you can't get from selfies and attention.
Self-Absorption is getting taken out alongside the spoiled milk and the green bean cans. Next time we take out the trash, we'll be taking on anger.
Love and light,
Reina M
