Taking Out the Trash: Bitterness
If Gandhi can forgive persecution Surely, you can forgive me for being so petty
~India.Arie
This 2018, I’m addressing the parts of myself that I hate to make them better. A sort of reconciling, if you will--between me, myself and I. The dictionary defines reconciliation as "the action of making one view or belief compatible with another." I don't want to just talk the talk--you best bet that I'll be walking the walk, too. Anyone can shout from the rooftops what they think or feel, but it takes a bigger person to put into practice what they know will make them a better person.
The dictionary also defines reconciliation as "the restoration of friendly relations," otherwise known as the exact opposite of bitterness. Many of us have taken to the term pettiness--same idea. At the very least, they're linked at the hip. Bitterness can lead to pettiness. My own bitterness has led to pettiness, and I've finally reached the point where enough is enough.
Bitterness has done nothing but poison my own mind, my own emotions, my own self. It eats at me alive, day and night. I find myself complaining about the same issues over and over again, even if they don't effect me presently. Even if I claim to have forgiven whomever wronged me. Bitterness is the easy way out where forgiveness is the harder, but more effective answer.
At first, I joked that 2018 would be the year that I'd rid myself of all bitterness. But, as mid-January rolled around and I was still stewing in anger and frustration over things best left in 2017, I knew my truth. Now that it's February, I've chosen forgiveness. A burden I'd chosen to carry is lifted from my shoulders. I have more time in my day to foster relationships rather than fester in the problems of the past. I've had time to dwell on what I do and don't love about myself so I can live out my goal for this year: to be better than I used to be.
Bitterness was the first thing to go in the trash. What will you be leaving out on the curb in 2018? "Taking Out the Trash" will continue with the next installment: Self Absorption.
Love and light,
Reina M
