Too Stressed to Be Blessed
We are in charge of our own happiness, right? It's both a blessing and a curse. No one else can steal the joy we have if we rely on ourselves for true happiness and contentment. A break-up, an argument, a rude comment, a rough week at work--none of that could truly steal our joy if at the end of the day, we are happy with ourselves and are able to bounce back from setbacks.
But, what if we can't?
Josie Pickens coined an article earlier this month titled Depression and the Black Superwoman Syndrome, where she claims that "masking up as a superwoman is killing us." Black women in particular have become so accustomed to standing strong and trying to be invincible that when we're struggling, we as though we can't show it or that we are weak if we ask for help. The devastating results can be suicide, as seen from Karyn Washington, the creator of For Brown Girls.
She was only twenty two, but had accomplished so much in her goal to empower brown women and girls. But, in her quest to do good and lift others up, who was in her corner to pull her out from the depths?
Mental illness has a dark stigma wherever you go, but even more so in the Black community. I remember sitting with my family during a holiday when I was maybe ten or so years old when an ad for antidepressant medication flashed onto the tv. Someone in the room said something to the effect that people with depression really need more of Jesus in their lives. It's often said that prayer is powerful and asking God for help can bring you out of your "sadness." There may very well to some truth to these statements. Faith and religion does give many a sense of hope and peace in hardships, but mental illness isn't something that one can "pray away" just the same as you can't "pray away" cancer. Yes you can pray over it, and I personally believe that God will hear those prayers--but that doesn't mean you shouldn't also be going to your doctor for chemotherapy.
Mental illness is tricky. It isn't mere "sadness" that you can "snap out of," even if you have so much good in your life. Sometimes, there is a lot of good in your life, but there's still an imbalance in your brain that gets in the way of you enjoying life. Sometimes, there's something that's happened to trigger this imbalance that others may not know about. Sometimes, we're just too stressed to be blessed, and we need help from something more. Sometimes, we are in charge of our own happiness, but our brain is in charge of us, and it won't allow for this happiness.
For the person reading this dealing with an invisible illness:
It's alright to struggle. It's alright to ask for help. It's alright to take some time off from work or school to regain your balance. If one solution isn't right for you, try several. Yoga, meditation and prayer may be helpful to you, but don't feel ashamed if mediation is what you need. Share the load. Being alone in the darkest corners of your own mind isn't healthy. Talk to get it out--to a friend, family member, or a professional.
For the loved one of a person reading this dealing with an invisible illness:
Know the signs. If someone is suffering from a mental illness, they may withdraw from others, have difficulty focusing at work or school, have trouble sleeping (or sleep far too much), experience extreme mood swings, or change their eating habits. Things that they once enjoyed they might not any more. If you see these signs, ask what you can do to help. Let it be known that you're here to help in whatever way you can. Be very careful not to push, but let them come to you. If it's beyond your scope of expertise, see if there's a professional who they may be willing to go to.
Sometimes we're too stressed to be blessed, but that doesn't mean that we can't be blessed again. It might take some extra steps to reach that happiness that we so want to be in control of.
Sources:
http://www.ebony.com/wellness-empowerment/depression-black-superwoman-syndrome
https://www.amberusa.com/blog/fighting-depression-with-non-invasive-ultrasound
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/improving-care.aspx
Love and light,
Reina
