(I'd Like to Think) I'm a Mother

Surprise! It's a...

Joke. It's just a joke. Ain't no babies being had around here for a while. But did I have you going there for a second?

On the subject of surprises, I got to confuse some of my old students when I made a reappearance this past Monday morning back at my old job. For two years, I was a preschool teacher before taking a semester off. Now that I have returned, I got the chance to see some of my students I've known since they were infants now moving on up to the two and three year old classroom. Many of them looked at me with a "why are you back here, I haven't seen you in ages" expression on their faces while many of them rushed right up and wanted hugs like I'd never left. Every single one of them made me think of my mother.

Or rather...every single one of them made me turn into my mother.

Isn't it funny how instead of turning into an older version of you, it's more like you're turning into a younger version of your parents? I'm very much a solid mix between both of my parents, but as a teacher, sometimes my mother just comes out--phrases she would or has said, or a look she would or has given. Not only that, but I have begun to understand some of the challenges she took on in being a mother, a daycare provider, and an early childhood teacher. The small victories of watching a child conquer a task they've been working so hard on, gaining a skill over the course of weeks or months, navigating successfully through both positive and negative social interactions are some of the most meaningful experiences I've ever had. The struggles of when an energetic child doesn't go to sleep, when you realize there is something in your day you could've done better, when a child is suffering from one thing or another and it tears your heart in half--those are some of the most intense moments I've ever experienced.

I'm no mother by any means, but the struggles and joys of watching and guiding children as they grow I've been able to witness firsthand through a job that is more than just a job. On tough days, I would go home exhausted, and friends would ask why I liked my job. For me, difficult does not constitute disdain. The more difficult a task, the more pride you take in overcoming. The more meaningful your struggle was. I am not a mother by any means, which means I don't have to change diapers yet, or teach sharing to tiny humans, or come home on some days utterly exhausted because no one took a nap at all that afternoon--but I can't imagine having missed out on these little one's lives were I to have never embarked on my journey as a teacher and a caregiver.

I'm no mother by any means, but I do remember the lessons my mother tried to instill in my sister and I, as well as the children she taught and cared for. She taught lessons on mercy vs. fairness, the beauty of diversity, respecting those around you, just to make a few. I hope to carry on that tradition and teach not only academics, but the essentials in life: saying please, taking turns, encouraging those around you, and appreciating the skin you're in along with the skin your peers are in. I don't shy away from lessons on culture and diversity, and luckily, I work in a center that encourages and promotes that we do the same. We have skin-tone markers, Play-Doh and paint. We have books with little brown children, little white children, and every shade in-between. We have baby dolls in all different shades, and talk about the beauty that is in each color of our classroom. When I come in one day with braids, one day with my hair wrapped up in a headscarf, and the next with my tiny curls out, I address their questions.

I won't claim to know absolutely everything about parenting, teaching, speech development or the like; and even though I'd like to think I'm a mother, for now, I am a preschool teacher whose job is more than a job, who tries her absolute hardest, and who sees something special in children worth cultivating.

Best,

Reina