Growth with Gaps
Growing up, I've always loved spending time with my cousins on both sides. It was the best thing, driving down to the city to spend an afternoon at my Auntie's house. Even if all we did was sit around and talk about what life was like for my dad and his sisters in Jamaica when they were kids, or listen to an older cousin's hilariouss impressions and stories--it was always good. One of my favorite Christmases to date was in 2014, when my parents hosted, and cousins from both sides came. There was bingo, Taboo, karaoke, and so much laughter that if I could bottle up the energy and love from that night, I would do it in a heartbeat.
One of the hardest things about having so many cousins is learning to keep up with everyone. Everyone is busy with school, work, their kids and responsibilities; and everyone starts to branch out and leave to Alabama, Georgia, Texas, or even Nebraska. I'm at the age now where I can more easily connect with my older cousins. We text, we call, we Facebook-chat, we direct-message on Instagram--but the dilemma comes in with the younger generations. With my cousins who are three and younger, I can't reach out to them in the same way, and end up having to wait until a family function rolls around until I can interact with them. Even some of my cousins who are going into middle school or getting to the upper grades in elementary school I have a hard time connecting with because of busy and conflicting schedules. It doesn't help that I spend many dedicated hours a week eating and cooking deliciousness, which means it slips my mind to call or message folks.
But, this Thanksgiving, I felt the growth despite the age gaps, despite the time gaps between visits, despite the time gaps between texts and calls. This Thanksgiving, I got to see pictures of my new baby cousin, who is an absolute angel (just like her name says!). I got to visit with my baby cousin that I haven't seen since January. I learned that my three-year-old cousin is afraid of giraffes, has endless energy, and tells the funniest stories.
I showed my eleven and ten-year-old cousins money from Argentina and together we calculated out how much the pesos would be worth in the United States. I got to see how grown up my little cousins had become, and after years of babysitting them, we got to sit down and have real conversations. I got to take portraits and capture moments between cousins--younger and older--and think back to some of our earliest memories together.
With one of my little cousins--we'll call him LA because I'm sure one day he'll end up in LA as an absolute star...or maybe a stunt double--I used to say that he would be "my baby" from the moment I first saw his picture. However, the year he was born also happened to be my first year away in college, which meant my time spent with him was incredibly limited, and my guilt was through the roof.
All of my little cousins before him I'd bonded with as we'd grown up together. Some of my little girl cousins used to be like my shadows, always wanting me to teach them how to draw, or wanting to help cook breakfast with me (after sometime, I became the designated breakfast-cooker when we'd visit my grandparents), or make a run to the store with me...but with little LA, that wasn't the case since I wasn't often around. I felt like he would forget me between our meetings, or that he would never really come to know who I was.
This Thanksgiving proved that entirely wrong. We didn't grow up together, and even though he's nearly two decades younger than me, we still have a connection.
He told me stories all evening and showed me how to fly a Lego spaceship with a scary giraffe riding on it. He even got comfortable enough to steal my bread off my napkin while I wasn't looking. He's still "my baby" even though the moments we shared together weren't as plentiful as my other cousins in Chicago, in Rockford, and in other parts of the states.
I have grown because of my cousins, and no matter the gap between us--distance, time, age, what have you--there's always room for that connection. There's always love and good times shared, and even if I'm way better at eating than remembering to call or send a message, all of them are incredibly special to me.
All the best,
Reina
